Search Results for “jonah hill”

By now, you’ve all seen the ad for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 featuring a much thinner Jonah Hill. (If you haven’t, I’ve embedded it above because I’m as considerate a writer as I am a lover.) And I’ll tell you what: I find the new, “fit” incarnation of the man thoroughly unappealing. The reason is that, skinny or fat, Jonah is not an attractive man. Compare him to Sam Worthington, with whom he shares the spotlight in this commercial: That’s a handsome man. If you walked in on Sam banging your wife, I’m not sure if you’d take […]

Papa's Basement Radio Show

Papa’s Basement, Mollie’s Backyard — Episode 742

John Papageorgiou July 9, 2023

Mollie Heckerling and I return to the mics long enough for me to declare that video games are soul-stealing drugs (that I’m totally addicted to), the perceived downsides of healing ones past traumas, the latest news of Jonah Hill’s ex outing him as a controlling weirdo, and how I walked an audience member at a recent comedy show. It’s a really good episode, and it’s really good to be back. Thank you to all of you that are still listening. But not those that aren’t anymore. No, you among those accursed ranks are dead to me. Click here to listen […]

Entertainment

SiriusXM Fires Opie & Anthony‘s Anthony Cumia

John Papageorgiou July 4, 2014

I awoke today to some news that, as a fan of both comedy radio and the freedom of speech ostensibly afforded us as Americans, really broke my heart: SiriusXM fired Anthony Cumia of Opie & Anthony fame after he was physically assaulted on Wednesday by a woman who was unhappy with him snapping her photo on the street. Say what? Allow me to elaborate: Anthony was snapping photos on an NYC street during the evening. He was taking photos of people out in the city during the evening and photographed a woman walking under some scaffolding. The woman, who happened […]

Entertainment

Reviewing This Is the End Without Having Seen It

admin June 7, 2013

I’m going to take a different approach to today’s review (and be funny for once) and go through This Is the End‘s Wikipedia entry line by line, commenting the choice bits. This Is the End is an upcoming apocalyptic comedy film… This is not a real genre. I know Shaun of the Dead exists, but that doesn’t make “apocalyptic comedy” any more real.

Entertainment

Reviewing The Watch Without Having Seen It

admin July 27, 2012

There’s a moment when you’re about to sleep with an attractive woman that I call “smilerection”–You smile, because banging attractive women is awesome, and you get an erection, because that’s how sex is made (or so I’ve heard on the playground). Clicking on the aggregate Rotten Tomatoes rating for The Watch has given me multiple smilerections in the past 24 hours. It’s oscillated between an 11% and 16% approval rating, horrible numbers for any movie, much less one with such comedic star power (insert air quotes around that last phrase as you see fit). I’m happy because I hate three […]

Entertainment

Reviewing 21 Jump Street Without Having Seen It

admin March 16, 2012

The majority of my movie reviews are overwhelmingly negative. Many would attribute that to me being a pessimist: I believe it’s because most movies are garbage and should refer to themselves as “time machines that brought you 90 minutes closer to the grave without enriching your life in the slightest.” So it might come as a shock when I say that 21 Jump Street looks like it could have some laughs. Don’t misunderstand me: I’m sure the film, as a whole, is crap. Channing Tatum is a fucking totem pole. (By that I mean his face is utterly expressionless, not […]

Entertainment

Picking the Oscars With a Moron

admin January 25, 2012

Mine is a life of dichotomies. I log countless hours at the gym yet have a booth on reserve at the Great American Buffet. I love sex, yet panic after every fling that I’ve both impregnated the woman I slept and contracted HIV. And I know no greater rush than gambling, but will weep like a moneylender the moment I lose a dime. Outside of years of therapy, I’m unaware of a solution to those first two problems. But this website has provided me an outlet for my gambling jones, and so now you’re going to have to sit through […]

Entertainment

Movie Review: Cyrus

admin July 16, 2010

This was supposed to be a review of Predators. Ever since the co-host of Papa’s Basement, Rachel Oehring, issued a scathing review of that film on my radio show last week, I had been champing at the bit to see it, love it and wave my appreciation of it in her face like a piece of dog shit on a stick. I also figured a review of a popular film that was only a week late wouldn’t exactly hurt traffic to my site. The big day was supposed to be Wednesday. I had contacted a few male friends (and only […]

Search Results for: jonah hill

Skinny Jonah Hill Creeps Me Out

Papa’s Basement, Mollie’s Backyard — Episode 742

SiriusXM Fires Opie & Anthony‘s Anthony Cumia

Reviewing This Is the End Without Having Seen It

Reviewing The Watch Without Having Seen It

Reviewing 21 Jump Street Without Having Seen It

Picking the Oscars With a Moron

Movie Review: Cyrus

Papa's Basement