The trajectory of Adam Sandler’s career is nothing if not fascinating. 20 years ago, he could do no wrong. In the middle of a very popular SNL stint, he released Billy Madison, a movie I consider to be one of the great light comedies. His albums They’re All Gonna Laugh […]
My normal movie article schtick is to review a film without having seen it, usually taking a crap on the production from a safe distance. But not today. Today, I am here to beseech the movie gods with a humble request: Please don’t let Terminator Genisys suck. I adore the […]
You can see how simple mankind is based upon what we spend the most time viewing. We like to watch things blow up and we like to watch people fuck. In fact, the first footage ever filmed was of a guy plowing a broad over the hood of a Model […]
So they’re still making this comic book crap. Are people not sick of this yet? This is starting to feel like those 80s blacksploitation films that didn’t know they were about ten years late to the party. Let’s get this review of 2015’s Action Jackson over with. I saw the […]
Black people hate Will Ferrell like his birth name was Slavery Lynch’em. I have a friend named Rich who is, for lack of a better way of putting it, traditionally white in many of his mannerisms. He owns a Green Lantern shirt. His car contains Metallica CDs. He openly acknowledges […]
I watched the first Hot Tub Time Machine in a theaters, and I’m not embarrassed to admit that (though I probably should be). As I recall, I was hanging out with a friend of mine and I randomly had one of those existential moments where the meaningless of existence is […]
The appeal of Godzilla has always eluded me. Even as a kid, I realized it was campy dogshit with horrid special effects. And I’ve never been one to enjoy something I was aware was of a poor quality: If you’re getting a toothy blowjob, you don’t think to yourself, “Wow, […]
According to the Wikipedia entry for the book Heaven Is for Real, it tells the story of a kid named Colton Burpo who almost croaked during surgery. (I’m assuming he needed surgery because his classmates beat the holy motherfuck out of him for having a name like Colton Burpo.) In […]
This is why Noah will tank: Most people who aren’t at least moderately Christian will avoid it for a lack of interest in the subject matter. A guy gets a bunch of CGI animals onto a CGI ark and endures a CGI flood? Sounds like Captain Planet: The Movie. However, […]
