Britney Spears Will Make $15 Million to Be An X-Factor Judge
Once in a while, you hear a piece of news that hits you in the solar plexus like an angry drill sergeant. I was on a bit of a high […]
(Note: This one time, you shouldn’t lend too much credence to what I say, because, according to Rotten Tomatoes, Cabin is apparently the Citizen fucking Kane of slasher films. At least according to its score on Rotten Tomatoes. I still won’t watch it, though.)
I’ve never understood horror as a genre. There’s little plot, no character development, shitty writing, and it all relies on the power of visual elements which may or may not inspire a visceral reaction in the viewer. I get as much out of it as a eunuch watching porn. So I knew I’d dislike The Cabin in the Woods even before I learned that Joss Whedon co-wrote it. That’s what really set me over the edge.
For those of you who don’t remember, Joss Whedon created and wrote Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, both of which were moderately popular in their day. I was never a fan of either show, but, had Joss decided to stay a part of the late 90s like Limp Bizkit or A/S/L/pic?, I wouldn’t really mind him. Instead, he’s chosen to go on producing continually more-forgettable work (I’ve taken dumps that lasted longer than Dollhouse), all of which seem to be centered around tough women, foot fetishism and characters that won’t shut the fuck up. Joss, if you’re going to be a one-note director, at least do it right, like Russ Meyer did. Nuts to The Cabin in the Woods, I say (pardon my profanity).
Dimley on April 25, 2012
I fall into the horror trap sometimes when there is nothing else on. I can’t tell whether all the writers are idiots themselves, or they just write the characters that way because the target-audience eats it up. After about 30 minutes, no matter how good the special effects are, I end up deleting it from my DVR because I’ve spent the entire time screaming at the screen in disbelief that anyone could be so dumb.