The Smell of Spring (and Jizz) is in the Air
It’s springtime again. And we all know what that means: Driving with the windows down. Women wearing less. And, if you live in Virginia, the smell of old semen permeating […]
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Does the Verizon iPhone 4’s Data Speed Suck for Everyone or Just Me?
A few months ago, I treated myself to an iPhone 4 on the Verizon network. It was a joyous day, not unlike the birth of a child, except my iPhone […]
Papa’s Basement 4-4-11-Candy Hair and Monster Mouse
Because who wants to hear the news of the day on time and from the mouth of a professional anchor when you can get it from us long after its […]
April Fool’s Day Jokes Are Never Funny
There are countless forms of comedy that are indisputably unfunny: The knock knock joke. Anything uttered by Daniel Lawrence Whitney. Articles with URLs that contain the words “inpapasbasement.com.” Add to […]
It’s Baseball’s Opening Day. How I Wish I Cared
I’ve spent the day eying a trickle of Tweets tagged with #openingday. In general, they seem to be originating from one of three types: Older men, who remember when baseball […]
Adam Sandler Has Never Bested Billy Madison
If you don’t laugh at this scene, I despise you. Also, I apologize for the audio, which sounds like it was recorded underwater. This past Sunday night, while driving home […]
Papa’s Basement 3-28-11-Cleanin’ Out My Closet
Sometimes, in spite of my best interests, I just let it fly behind the mic. This was one of those days. Was it a personal or professional relationship I blew […]
So Propecia Can Destroy Your Dick. Great.
I woke up a few days ago to a gleeful text message from my good friend Brian. Brian’s Irish, through and through, and I knew he’d been plotting some sort […]
I Ate Taco Bell’s Pacific Shrimp Taco, Too
That title read a little more euphemistically than I’d have preferred, but it got the job done. In case you thought that devouring a triumverate of Sonic’s Premium Beef Hot […]
Papa’s Basement 3-21-11-Sonic Premium Beef Hot Dogs for President
I know nothing of fine dining. If I open a menu and there’s an item over $30 on it, my eyes bug out like that Tex Avery wolf. Don’t misunderstand […]
St. Patrick’s Day: Enjoy Your Filthy Irish Day, Filthy Irish People
(Please note: I don’t actually hate the Irish. Oh, how I love to pretend that I do, though.) I remember it like it was yesterday. 1993. A 12-year-old John Papageorgiou […]
RIP Nate Dogg
So Nate Dogg is dead at the age of 41. Is it racist that I just assumed he’d been shot? Turns out, Nate’s been battling health issues for a few […]
Aflac Fires Gilbert Gottfried for his Japanese Tsunami Jokes
Yesterday, the multi-national insurance giant Aflac fired the voice of its duck mascot, the company’s commercial spokescreature for over a decade, Gilbert Gottfried. It seems that Gilbert letting loose with […]
Papa’s Basement 3-14-11-Japan:Tsunamis, Nuclear Meltdowns and Sim City
Great. Japan is one of the few countries I actually wanted to visit, and now an earthquake has led to a tsunami which has led to a meltdown which might […]
Celebrities Worth Following on Twitter
If you follow folks like Katie Perry or Kim Kardashian on Twitter, I won’t judge you (outside of assuming that you’re a vapid stooge and somehow even less intelligent than […]