Osama bin Laden’s Death Hit Me Like a Viagra
Terrorist. Murderer. Fiend. Yet there’s one crime we don’t like to admit Osama bin Laden’s guilty of: Possession of one Hell of a pair of these. I have a confession […]
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Papa’s Basement 5-2-11-Thanks For Destroying My Web Traffic, Bin Laden
This weekend, I recorded a show about the royal wedding and how annoying all the hubbub surrounding it was. “What a brilliant idea,” thought John. “Not only do I get […]
Steve Carell Says Goodbye to The Office
Back in 2005, NBC put a titanic push into promoting their new comedy, The Office. I knew nothing about it at the time other than: 1. It was based upon […]
Did We Really Need The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Explain This One?
Yesterday, with my air conditioner kaput, I sought refuge from the elements in my local public library, like any self-respecting hobo would. To my amazement, the visit was actually quite […]
Rating the Best (and Worst) Easter Candy
I like Easter. Not because I’m a religious man, but because it brings a controlled amount of candy into my life, unlike Halloween, which typically concludes with me tearing up […]
Papa’s Basement 4-25-11-Gorging at the Trough of Denny’s Baconalia
My Friday night started off with a disaster of a date, so what was I to do to salvage the night? Why, eat until the pain disappeared, of course! A […]
The Three Most Idiotic Phrases Women Can Quote Online
In retrospect, I wasted a shocking number of hours in my early 20s trolling for ass on websites like MySpace and the now-defunct Dilly. I was an expert at being […]
Anyone Celebrating 420 is an Embarrassment
For those of you who simply celebrate it as Hitler’s birthday, it may come as a shock that 4/20 also has a reputation as a marijuana-based counterculture holiday, where potheads […]
Why Do Women Like the Royal Wedding?
Last night, my friend and co-worker Danny Rouhier mentioned in passing that it puzzled him why the Royal Wedding was such a big deal. Off the cuff, I replied that […]
Papa’s Basement 4-18-11-The Human Centipede
By now, the horrors of the film The Human Centipede have been well documented. Since I’m a dunce, though, I decided that it would be fine to watch the movie […]
Kobe Bryant Calls a Ref a “Fucking Faggot” on Television
For those of you that missed it, during Tuesday night’s game against the Spurs, Kobe Bryant was sent to the bench after receiving a technical foul. Pissed about the incident, […]
Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the Nectar of the Gods
No one would ever accuse my childhood of being a cornucopia of health food. Yes, my mom would boil up a pot of frozen mixed vegetables (yum) with every dinner, […]
Hanna‘s a Surprisingly Decent Movie
Last week it was my friend Richard’s birthday. I wanted to do something nice for him because he’s one of the few people I know whose heart isn’t a ball […]
Papa’s Basement 4-11-11-Cate Knocks it Out of the Park
Some episodes come out of the gates, others build to a slow boil. (Others are just turds in the punch bowl, but no one bats a thousand.) In the final […]
You Should Spend Your Weekend with Party Down
Every so often, while pissing my life away via Netflix and its insidious instant streaming capabilities, I stumble upon a gem of a show I wasn’t previously aware of. Then, […]