Shelly Dufrense on the left is right out of the "Hot For Teacher" video. And, while Rachel Respess on the right looks like Jeff Hanneman from Slayer, you wouldn't say no if she meant assembling a Triforce.

Shelly Dufrense on the left is right out of the “Hot For Teacher” video. And, while Rachel Respess on the right looks like Jeff Hanneman from Slayer, you wouldn’t say no if she meant assembling a Triforce (my very geeky euphemism for a threesome).

I’m not saying that the high school student who had two of his teachers at the same time should be pitied because they raped him or anything stupid and completely inaccurate like that. No, I’m saying you should feel bad for him because his life is going nowhere but downhill. I mean, really, the guy is some football jock who, short of getting signed by an NFL team, has nowhere to go but way, way down. Will and I discuss why none of these sexy teachers were around when we were kids and just how awesome it would have been if they were.

We also cover my all-time high school crush, Laura San Giacomo. Because I was (and am) a pud, I had crushes on women who were on TV, not actual people I could, you know, bang. Her virtues as a woman of a bad face and two big assets are hard to question. It’s a good show. If you like comedy talk, you’ll enjoy. So please do exactly that.

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The best part about more Fappening pictures? Getting to see Nicholas Hoult's penis! (Actually, this would have only been cool if he had it painted blue because he was playing Beast at the time.)

The best part about more Fappening pictures? Getting to see Nicholas Hoult’s penis! (Actually, kinda would have been cool if it were painted blue because he was playing Beast at the time.)

I loved me some Fappening, the name given to the widespread leak of celebrity nudes that took place last month. Was it a violation of their privacy? Yes. But, if someone robs a bank and drops a $100 and you happen to walk by and pick it up, well, you’re not exactly a criminal, now are you?

Turns out, another metaphorical bank robbery took place and plenty of more $100 bills were strewn about for us to gaze upon. More Jennifer Lawrence. Vanessa Hudgens. Rihanna. Kim Kardashian. A lot of heavy hitting brunette titty in this group. Find out who amazed and who had a vagina that looked like a pit bull gnawed it in the latest Papa’s Basement!

(Oh, we also talk about the new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus and something new that iOS 8 does that’s really, really annoying thus far. So if you aren’t a horny guy, there’s something for you in this episode, too.)

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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To quote Sinbad in his Always Sunny cameo, "Unleash the fury! Get his shoe! Beat his testicles!"

To quote Sinbad in his Always Sunny cameo, “Unleash the fury! Get his shoe! Beat his testicles!

We start off with talk about my comic, The Spookies, and my (very, very unsuccessful) attempts to sell it to the hipster crowd at Bethesda’s Small Press Expo. The talk quickly turns to Vikings star running back and NFL darling Adrian Peterson getting arrested over the weekend for felony child abuse, with word getting out that his six-year-old son had marks to his buttocks and testicles from a switch. Man, that’s Biblical. We get into what the NFL needs to do and if, given what’s going on with Ray Rice and Mr. Peterson, Ike Turner might have had untapped, Jim Brown-like talent at the RB position given his propensity for knocking Tina’s tits off, on the latest Papa’s Basement. Like and share on all of your social media to look cool (kinda).

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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60 years ago, threatening to pull a Ray Rice was high comedy.

60 years ago, threatening to pull a Ray Rice was high comedy.

I like to keep my episode titles understated. Months ago, (former) Ravens running back Ray Rice landed a laughable two-game suspension when video of him dragging his fiancee’s unconscious body out of a casino elevator emerged. Well, yesterday, the other shoe fell, and TMZ obtained video from within the elevator of the knockout blow itself. (I am too lazy to find the video and link to it, but your reaction will be along these lines.)

My comic, The Spookies, was also on display at the Baltimore Comic Con this year, and we cover what it’s like living in a world where nerdy chicks that dress in next to nothing as video game characters are now celebrated and not instead invited to pig parties or tricked into thinking they’re the prom queen only to get drenched in blood.

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THE FAPPENING — Papa’s Basement #414

by John Papa on September 4, 2014

I'd post an actual celebrity leaked nude from The Fappening, but I enjoy not being sued, so here's a photo of what most of the world's male population looked like 12 hours after the occurrence.

I’d post an actual celebrity leaked nude from The Fappening, but I enjoy not being sued, so here’s a photo of what most of the world’s male population looked like 12 hours after the occurrence.

Where were you when The Fappening occurred? In the late hours of August 31st, 2014, word spread like wildfire that hacked nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence had surfaced. And photos of Kate Upton. And Aubrey Plaza. An entire generation of stars was suddenly naked and online. And, while I’m sure most of us don’t condone the gross invasion of privacy, most of us made like Homer when confronted with a jackknifed sugar truck and took what we could while we could. I talk about the ethics of The Fappening, what makes it such a unique event, and also cover the trip I took with the girlfriend last week to Denver and Las Vegas. At least the girlfriend I had before posting an episode dedicated to hacked nude celebrity photos.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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VIDEO — Papageorgiou Family Roundtable #2

by John Papa on August 25, 2014

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The Papageorgiou Family Roundtable #2

by John Papa on August 25, 2014

Lisa Robertson, the leathery cougar goddess of QVC.

Lisa Robertson, the leathery cougar goddess of QVC.

(You can watch video of this episode’s filming by clicking here.)

QVC is an evil, addictive vampire preying upon elderly women. I crap all over it as well as the Nick Cannon – Mariah Carey split and my recent dealings with Verizon Wireless on the latest Papageorgiou Family Roundtable.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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I'm not one to deal in stereotypes, but if a man with a heavily tattooed neck who's trained to beat other human beings to a bloody pulp isn't safe for a girl to date, then, really, who is?

I’m not one to deal in stereotypes, but if a man with a heavily tattooed neck who’s trained to beat other human beings to a bloody pulp isn’t safe for a girl to date, then, really, who is?

No, porn star Christy Mack wasn’t re-beaten by her MMA juicehead ex-boyfriend War Machine: It’s just that, between the death of Robin Williams and the episode I did with my family, I didn’t get to post this episode for a while. I mean, it’s still a good episode even if old, but it’s kinda like hearing Cronkite cover the Kennedy assassination minus the historical significance or talent behind the mic. We also get into the death of Kevin Ward, Jr., at the hands of Tony Stewart on the track. Like I said…oldie but goodie.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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VIDEO–The Papageorgiou Family Roundtable #1

by John Papa on August 18, 2014


If you’re too lazy to download a podcast, you can watch the recording of The Papageorgiou Family Roundtable #1 in action here. Enjoy!

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The Papageorgiou Family Roundtable #1

by John Papa on August 18, 2014

papageorgiou family roundtable

(You can watch a video of this recording by clicking here.)

Hi all. Longtime listeners to Papa’s Basement have heard both my mom and brother on the air and, for a while now, people have asked, “Why not make a show of just your family?” Well, I did exactly that. We talked a bunch of current events, ranging from Ferguson to the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge to Lauren Bacall’s death to Zelda Williams leaving social media after being harassed about her dead dad Robin. I hope you enjoy it and tell your friends about it if you do. I’m still doing the regular Papa’s Basement show twice a week, I just felt like putting this out there as well.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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