Last week’s episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (a show that tends to be given either too much or too little – and never the right amount – of credit), featured an exchange that made me laugh until my throat was hoarse for days. I want to type it out for you now because YouTube got all litigious and yanked the clip in question from their site yesterday, so this is as good as it’s gonna get for you all. Here are Frank and Dennis Reynolds discussing Dennis’ “God Hole.”
Hey, so I was thinking about my title. Because I think it should be “Vice President of Worldwide Distribution.”
But you don’t need a title. What I need you to do for the next three weeks is to deflect Mac and Charlie.
That’s easy. I can do that, Frank. That’s what I’m good at. But I am going to need a business card, ’cause I want to be able to hand that shit to people so they know that I’m in a place of power.
It’s not important!
(angered) It’s important to me, Frank! And I know that what’s important to you is money and power. But I don’t want power. Because, with real power comes real responsibility. And I don’t want any of that shit. I just want the money. And the illusion of power…and puss.
What? Yeah?
Hell, I don’t know, Frank. I don’t know, man.
What…tell me. Tell me.
I need something. I mean, I got this, uh, this giant, gaping hole inside me. And I’m…I’m always trying to fill it with something. I like to call it my, uh…my “God Hole.” And I think a lot of people in this world, they…they fill it with religion. But I don’t believe in God.
(completing Dennis’ thought) But you want to fill it with pussy.
(smiling) Yeah.
This post will probably end up being one of those times where none of you are amused by the content, but I don’t care. Because, like Dennis, I also have a God Hole. I fill it with Netflix and porn and Twitter and this stupid website. I know where the man’s coming from. And what about you? What do you fill your God Hole with? I’d like to hear. Unless the answer is “God.” Because that’s just boring.
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Trying to scam people online so I can make a few extra bucks.
I fill my God Hole with math and science.
Did you catch the hilarious trip to the Jersey Shore? RUM HAM!
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