Metallica released a new single – its first in I believe eight years (I ain’t looking that shit up to confirm) – the other day. And it rocks. And I couldn’t be happier. It’s been so long since I’ve cared about this band that very few of you know this, […]
The other day, I was hanging out with my friend Howard watching Office reruns on Netflix. Because I had been drinking since 2pm and I’ve seen every episode of that show at least four times, I nodded off. About 20 minutes later, I awoke to the same suburban bear trap […]
Let’s be honest: Motivating yourself to go to the gym is hard. This isn’t 1974. You can be a 400-pound blob and, between “adult” Internet content, Netflix, video games and Chipotle, you don’t really need to be in shape enough for a partner or able to use stairs without sweating […]
We are a country hurtling toward political extremes. On the right, the Tea Party would like you to believe that if you don’t get erect at the thought of the Constitution as you battle any semblance of government and pray at the altar of completely unregulated capitalism, you might as […]
Wayne Static, frontman of Static-X and singer of this truly catchy masterpiece, died over the weekend. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume it had something to do with drugs. We use the news to talk about my own issues that will probably take me a little […]
I awoke today to some news that, as a fan of both comedy radio and the freedom of speech ostensibly afforded us as Americans, really broke my heart: SiriusXM fired Anthony Cumia of Opie & Anthony fame after he was physically assaulted on Wednesday by a woman who was unhappy […]
I never read The Hunger Games because I’m not two years removed from getting my first period. I also dodged the film adaptation until it randomly popped up on Netflix (which was unexpected because Netflix prides itself on getting one current, big-budget movie a year and I thought they had […]
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I was born in the 80s, the decade that invented quickie divorces. Meaning I had to attend the second (and third!) weddings of several of my delinquent friends’ mothers. This exposed me to some of the worst music of the decade because said moms were uniformly white trash with horrible […]
