Is there a more sympathetic figure than a towering blonde boldly declaring her Germanic heritage? Nein!Britt McHenry is a former DC-area sports reporter who graduated to ESPN about a year ago. This week, she landed a one-week suspension for getting caught on tape berating an attendant who worked for the towing company that nabbed her vehicle. As far as people I feel for go, I’m not sure who’s lower on the totem pole: The statuesque blonde who’s probably gotten every break in the book since age 14 due to her looks or the employee of a predatory towing company. Co-hostess Eva reenacts the audio of Miss McHenry (whom she is now in love with, by the way) on-air, and we also cover a veterinarian who shot a cat in the head with an arrow and then posted a photo of her deed on Facebook. The stupid bitch somehow thought it was a good idea. Because, you know, the Internet doesn’t have a hardon for cats or anything. But yeah, that’s what people who bring sick cats to you for treatment want to see, idiot. As Jesus once said to Paul after a fight with Mary Magdalene, “Boy, would I like to choke out that cunt.”
(On a note unrelated to the show, if you want to do the Lord’s work and donate to the Kickstarter fund for my comic, The Spookies, you can do so by clicking here. The rewards for doing so are really incredible and delivered in a very timely manner, so please, if you can, contribute. Thanks!)
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There’s something wonderful about documentaries. Somehow, they make you feel like you’re learning something even though you’re just sitting on your ass watching the tube. After gushing about my love […]
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