If you can still say no to me after seeing a photo of a cat behind a microphone, go to Hell, because who needs you.

Papa’s Basement was originally built as a dumping ground for the mp3s of my radio show Papa’s Basement (which I’ve purposefully kept on a public access channel because I loved Wayne’s World as a kid, not because radio is a dying industry and I’d have better luck trying to cure cancer than making a dollar in the field). After a friend of mine said that the site looked like crap, was impossible to navigate and that I’d die broke and alone, I decided to add blogs and pictures to spite her.

Now the site houses not only the show but my comedy writing, which I’m putting out there in the spirit of Field of Dreams‘ line “If you build (a site full of free dick jokes), they will come (and pay you to write these dick jokes).” What are the odds of this site landing a writing job that will pay my bills and make me feel happy and fully realized? Zero. But as long as I write a few times a week, Mother has promised to neither kick me out nor touch my allowance, and that’s good enough for me.

So please, share my work, and, if you are in a position to pay me for writing like this, spread the wealth, fellow godless liberal socialist. I can be reached at InPapasBasement@gmail.com.