Yesterday, in honor of Muammar Gaddafi, I composed a list of history’s ugliest dictators. Not ugly in some sort of Namby Pamby, they have evil, disgusting souls sense: I’m talking they overthrew governments because they couldn’t get a prom date. The article ran out of space, so today I present […]
A few days ago, I thought to myself, “Is a face like an old hound dog’s asshole a prerequisite for being a dictator?” Why would I think such a thing? Well, because I’ve been seeing this in the news for the past few months. So how could I not think […]
Let’s be honest: People are idiots in the face anything Mother Nature throws at them. And the people of the DC area are bigger idiots than most when it comes to the subject. Forget snow, we can’t even handle the rain. Seriously, for those who don’t live around here, rainfall […]
A few months ago while killing time online at work (I hope some of you can relate to that), I stumbled upon this photo: I know what you’re thinking: “John, why were you Googling the words ‘anal’ and ‘bear?’” (If you weren’t thinking that, you are now.) That’s not the […]
I haven’t been this angry since that cougar drove by sporting an “I Got This in the Divorce” bumper sticker.
And so it ends. 46 years after I began my series “The Five Movie Characters Men Wish They Were” (quality writing takes time. And, apparently, predates the Internet), our journey’s conclusion is upon us. We’ve had Ferris Bueller, Tony Montana, David Wooderson and Travis Bickle. All represent facets of the […]
This might be hard to believe, given my Platonically ideal physique and my mind-boggling, go-getter energy levels, but a large portion of my childhood was spent in front of the television watching cartoons. Good or bad, I didn’t care. There were the high quality shows: The Ren & Stimpy Show, […]
As a man who enjoys placing my penis inside vaginas, I’ve always felt embarrassed about admitting that I’m a fan of True Blood. It falls under the umbrella of behaviors that, while not necessarily indicative of closeted homosexuality, certainly don’t make you any more masculine, like requesting a thumb in […]
The Help was released over the weekend and enjoyed a respectable box office take. This left me in a bit of a quandary because I love the traffic that comes from reviewing a newly released movie, but…I have no intention whatsoever of watching The Help. After all, even if it […]
