Mike Sacks Calls In — Papa’s Basement #421

by John Papa on October 21, 2014

Mike Sacks: Author, artist, superhunk.

Mike Sacks: Author, artist, superhunk.

DC-native Mike Sacks called into the show to promote his incredible book about the art of humor, Poking a Dead Frog: Conversations with Today’s Top Comedy Writers. If you love comedy or if you have any aspirations in the field professionally, the book is a must-read. (I bet that expression disgusts Mike’s literary sensibilities, but he’s probably not reading this, so haha, buddy.) Please give it a read, and please give the episode a listen. I swear to god the guy’s an amazing listen and you will walk away a huge fan. (You can click the link above to go directly to Amazon to purchase the book. Make me look like a big man brimming with clout and do it.)

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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Diane Rehm: Strong broadcaster, voice like the Grim Reaper.

Given her voice, Diane Rehm’s tagline should be “Broadcasting to the grave and beyond.”

Don’t get me wrong: I enjoy NPR as much as the next lazy slob who believes a commute contains time enough to both enlighten themselves and hurl torrents of obscenity at their fellow traffic-bound wage slaves. But the the voices on my local NPR station, WAMU, make listening very, very difficult. From Diane Rehm (who, admittedly, has a medical condition, so I’m a bad man for saying this) sounding like Death itself to Kojo Nnamdi, who sounds one bad caller away from declaring “I’m the captain, now,” I’m obsessed with the incredible degree of vocal oddity coming out of my speakers.

But before we get to WAMU’s aural assault, I talk about Mike SacksPoking a Dead Frog: Conversations With Today’s Top Comedy Writers, quite possibly the best book I have ever read on the subject of comedy itself. If you have any aspirations whatsoever in the field or simply are a fan, you need to pick up a copy of this book. Mike’s conversations with the top talent in the field today read like an incredibly funny manual of how to get into the business, and I have found myself stuck to the book since it arrived at my house. (Metaphorically stuck. My hand washing regimen is fine.)

All that plus an in-studio appearance from DC-area comedian Derek Sawyer make for an hour you don’t want to miss. (And if you love the show and want to do me a huge service that helps word about it get out, please leave some reviews over on the iTunes and Stitcher pages linked below. Tschüss!)

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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"So I couldn't have been diagnosed with terminal cancer BEFORE I spent 75k on my fancy honky wedding? Goddammit."

“So I couldn’t have been diagnosed with terminal cancer BEFORE I spent 75k on my fancy honky wedding? Goddammit.”

It happened. I managed to wrangle my mother once more to join me and my brother on-air to discuss terminal cancer patient Brittany Maynard and her decision to take her life and the passing of SNL alum Jan Hooks. Trust me, you won’t hear takes like ours anywhere else, so it’s worth it for that alone. But, if that isn’t enough to sell you, the whole point of the show is that we just fight and scream at each other because we are Greek and thus one generation removed from using indoor plumbing for the first time. And boy do we deliver.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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I wish my balls produced the MMR vaccine instead of sperm so I could hate-fuck autism into this still-stunning dope.

I wish my balls produced the MMR vaccine instead of sperm so I could hate-fuck autism into this still-stunning dope.

I really don’t know much about the whole anti-vaxxer movement other than the fact I still would love to rail Jenny McCarthy and she’s probably a loudmouthed dummy that’s incorrect in her assertions that vaccinations lead to autism (okay, I guess I know enough). We talk about her, the movement, why no one I know watches Boardwalk Empire (and if that show goes out of its way to humiliate Steve Buscemi about his looks even more than I thought possible) and what the hell happened to the joke-stealing Carlos Mencia on the latest Papa’s Basement. (And if you like the show, please follow the cast of this episode on Twitter: @papasbasement, @VinnieVanGeaux, @TimTrueheart and @TheDoyonian.)

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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Shelly Dufrense on the left is right out of the "Hot For Teacher" video. And, while Rachel Respess on the right looks like Jeff Hanneman from Slayer, you wouldn't say no if she meant assembling a Triforce.

Shelly Dufrense on the left is right out of the “Hot For Teacher” video. And, while Rachel Respess on the right looks like Jeff Hanneman from Slayer, you wouldn’t say no if she meant assembling a Triforce (my very geeky euphemism for a threesome).

I’m not saying that the high school student who had two of his teachers at the same time should be pitied because they raped him or anything stupid and completely inaccurate like that. No, I’m saying you should feel bad for him because his life is going nowhere but downhill. I mean, really, the guy is some football jock who, short of getting signed by an NFL team, has nowhere to go but way, way down. Will and I discuss why none of these sexy teachers were around when we were kids and just how awesome it would have been if they were.

We also cover my all-time high school crush, Laura San Giacomo. Because I was (and am) a pud, I had crushes on women who were on TV, not actual people I could, you know, bang. Her virtues as a woman of a bad face and two big assets are hard to question. It’s a good show. If you like comedy talk, you’ll enjoy. So please do exactly that.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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The best part about more Fappening pictures? Getting to see Nicholas Hoult's penis! (Actually, this would have only been cool if he had it painted blue because he was playing Beast at the time.)

The best part about more Fappening pictures? Getting to see Nicholas Hoult’s penis! (Actually, kinda would have been cool if it were painted blue because he was playing Beast at the time.)

I loved me some Fappening, the name given to the widespread leak of celebrity nudes that took place last month. Was it a violation of their privacy? Yes. But, if someone robs a bank and drops a $100 and you happen to walk by and pick it up, well, you’re not exactly a criminal, now are you?

Turns out, another metaphorical bank robbery took place and plenty of more $100 bills were strewn about for us to gaze upon. More Jennifer Lawrence. Vanessa Hudgens. Rihanna. Kim Kardashian. A lot of heavy hitting brunette titty in this group. Find out who amazed and who had a vagina that looked like a pit bull gnawed it in the latest Papa’s Basement!

(Oh, we also talk about the new iPhone 6 and 6 Plus and something new that iOS 8 does that’s really, really annoying thus far. So if you aren’t a horny guy, there’s something for you in this episode, too.)

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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To quote Sinbad in his Always Sunny cameo, "Unleash the fury! Get his shoe! Beat his testicles!"

To quote Sinbad in his Always Sunny cameo, “Unleash the fury! Get his shoe! Beat his testicles!

We start off with talk about my comic, The Spookies, and my (very, very unsuccessful) attempts to sell it to the hipster crowd at Bethesda’s Small Press Expo. The talk quickly turns to Vikings star running back and NFL darling Adrian Peterson getting arrested over the weekend for felony child abuse, with word getting out that his six-year-old son had marks to his buttocks and testicles from a switch. Man, that’s Biblical. We get into what the NFL needs to do and if, given what’s going on with Ray Rice and Mr. Peterson, Ike Turner might have had untapped, Jim Brown-like talent at the RB position given his propensity for knocking Tina’s tits off, on the latest Papa’s Basement. Like and share on all of your social media to look cool (kinda).

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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60 years ago, threatening to pull a Ray Rice was high comedy.

60 years ago, threatening to pull a Ray Rice was high comedy.

I like to keep my episode titles understated. Months ago, (former) Ravens running back Ray Rice landed a laughable two-game suspension when video of him dragging his fiancee’s unconscious body out of a casino elevator emerged. Well, yesterday, the other shoe fell, and TMZ obtained video from within the elevator of the knockout blow itself. (I am too lazy to find the video and link to it, but your reaction will be along these lines.)

My comic, The Spookies, was also on display at the Baltimore Comic Con this year, and we cover what it’s like living in a world where nerdy chicks that dress in next to nothing as video game characters are now celebrated and not instead invited to pig parties or tricked into thinking they’re the prom queen only to get drenched in blood.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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THE FAPPENING — Papa’s Basement #414

by John Papa on September 4, 2014

I'd post an actual celebrity leaked nude from The Fappening, but I enjoy not being sued, so here's a photo of what most of the world's male population looked like 12 hours after the occurrence.

I’d post an actual celebrity leaked nude from The Fappening, but I enjoy not being sued, so here’s a photo of what most of the world’s male population looked like 12 hours after the occurrence.

Where were you when The Fappening occurred? In the late hours of August 31st, 2014, word spread like wildfire that hacked nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence had surfaced. And photos of Kate Upton. And Aubrey Plaza. An entire generation of stars was suddenly naked and online. And, while I’m sure most of us don’t condone the gross invasion of privacy, most of us made like Homer when confronted with a jackknifed sugar truck and took what we could while we could. I talk about the ethics of The Fappening, what makes it such a unique event, and also cover the trip I took with the girlfriend last week to Denver and Las Vegas. At least the girlfriend I had before posting an episode dedicated to hacked nude celebrity photos.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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VIDEO — Papageorgiou Family Roundtable #2

by John Papa on August 25, 2014

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