This cartoon is actually a semi-accurate representation of what Doctor Steve looks like, except he doesn't have eyebrows like an Armenian grandfather in real life.

This cartoon is actually a semi-accurate representation of what Doctor Steve looks like, except he doesn’t have eyebrows like an Armenian grandfather in real life.

If you have SiriusXM, then you may be familiar with Doctor Steve and his wonderful, irreverent and uncensored medical show Weird Medicine. I’ve been a fan for a long time, so it was a real treat for me to get the guy on air for an amazing half-hour during which he talks about achieving a career as a broadcaster while working as a doctor, why he’s obsessed with the new season of Homeland and why a smelly vagina is like a dirty litter box. That last bit is what he closes with, and it might be the biggest laugh I’ve had in a long time. Give the episode a listen, and please subscribe to Doctor Steve’s Weird Medicine on iTunes and say hello to him on Twitter, where you can bug him with whatever embarrassing medical questions you may have.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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Bill Cosby: Racist Rapist — Papa’s Basement #430

by John Papa on December 16, 2014

"Ah, the smell of non-consensual vaginal secretions."

“Ah, the smell of non-consensual vaginal secretions.”

I am joined by the co-hosts of the Big Brown & Burnsie Show, the aptly named Big Brown and Burnsie, for a mash-up episode that covers the politics of farting in bed with a spouse and why the gifts given at Christmas by significant others are doomed to get much, much worse as the years pass by.

We also end the show with a debate about whether it’s more offensive to the black community that Bill Cosby (allegedly) raped a bunch of women or that all the women he raped where white. Seriously, look it up. It’s a pattern of prey the strength of which ol’ brunette-slayer Ted Bundy would have been proud of. Couldn’t he have found a nice sister to rape, like Cicely Tyson or Eartha Kitt? Shame on him.

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High School Ruined Me — Papa’s Basement #429

by John Papa on December 12, 2014

Hint to kids who want to achieve: Don't let your goal in high school be "become John Bender."

Hint to kids who want to achieve: Don’t let your goal in high school be “become John Bender.”

Whenever high school comes up on the show, I characterize it as a mostly good time. Because, well, it was. But it wasn’t all sunshine and backyard Heinekens stolen from your friend’s parents’ fridge. Today, I delve into the crappy aspects of my high school experience. If you’ve ever gone through high school (since I’m not big in the six-year-old demo, I’ll assume most of you listening have), you’ll relate. Think of it as Serial minus the murder. And the quality of storytelling. And without sponsors. Fine, don’t compare us in any way with Serial. It just serves to make us look worse.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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I'm not sure if I'm more jealous of him for the woman or the sweet shirt.

I’m not sure if I’m more jealous of him for the woman or the sweet shirt.

I’ve been a huge Opie & Anthony fan for years, and always enjoyed the hell out of the show’s producer, Erik Nagel. The guy is a Simpsons fanatic, grew up obsessed with radio and obsessively collects toys while hosting his own show, It’s Erik Nagel and reviewing junk food. I feel like we must be somehow related.

Anyhow, Erik was kind enough to call in and spend an hour talking with me about his thoughts on the Star Wars: Episode VII — The Force Awakes trailer, why he hates the term “geek culture,” his thoughts on whether or no the The Simpsons is still as good as it ever was, the firing of his former co-worker Anthony Cumia and even offers a Papa’s Basement-exclusive review of his favorite snack this holiday season. The guy is great on air, and you should absolutely check him out on both Twitter and Instagram.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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D'awww, just look at those rapeable wittle cheeks!

D’awww, just look at those rapeable wittle cheeks!

What would a radio show be if its hosts didn’t summarize their Thanksgiving breaks upon returning from them? Howard and I tell the tale of our Thanksgivings, the contents of mine including recording an episode of this show that will never make it to air due to its racy content (hence calling it the “lost episode”) and obsessively watching Banshee, a Cinemax show with as much porn as plot. We also lock horns about whether or not what happened to Shia LaBeouf was rape (spoiler: it wasn’t, but Howard stupidly claims it was). It’s a good episode. I mean, I’d lie and say it was even if it wasn’t, but I’m not lying about this one.

Please support us by clicking the links below to subscribe to, rate and comment on the shows, which is how we get new traffic. And if you want to help us financially, simply click on the Banshee link above to put an Amazon cookie on your computer that then gives us credit for all the crud you buy for 24 hours or so. Click, do your shopping, then wait for us to make untold cents off of your purchases. Boy, we’re really rolling in it now!

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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What do you get to eat when a sandwich shop runs out of the bread it puts its sandwiches on? Click here for the answer!

What do you get to eat when you show up at a sandwich shop that’s run out of bread halfway through its hours of service? Click here for the answer!

Having spent my entire life living right outside (and working within) DC, I start the episode by paying tribute to “Mayor for Life” Marion Barry, who passed over the weekend, and talk about what it’s like when your first memories of a political nature are of your mayor getting arrested for smoking crack in a hotel with his mistress.

The rest of the episode is me fighting the good fight, or at least rallying against SUNdeVICH, a sub shop in DC that ran out of bread and shuttered their doors more than four hours before their listed closing time, then had the gall to give me crap about me calling them out for it on Twitter. I will never do much to help another human being in any meaningful way in this world. I’ve accepted that. But, so help me God, if I can keep even one hungry person from showing up at a sandwich shop that finds it acceptable to routinely run out of bread hours before its scheduled closing time, I’ll have accomplished something in this world.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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Yeah, break it under her weight! Burn!

Yeah, break it under her weight! Burn!

The Internet has been a-titter with the photo Kim Kardashian released of her surgically crafted, hot air balloon ass last week. We’re joined by guest Tim Trueheart to figure out what can be said about America via its reaction to this oiled monolith and why it may be a harbinger of dark days ahead. (Man, that last part sounded ominous. I meant it pretty sarcastically. I mean, obviously, the world is going to Hell on a bullet train, but I doubt a set of Armenian ass cheeks the size of Franco Columbu’s lats is going to be the cause of it.)

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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My apologies for using two pixels to censor THE SMALLEST AREOLAS KNOWN TO MAN.

My apologies for using two pixels to censor THE SMALLEST AREOLAS KNOWN TO MAN.

Keira Knightley released a topless photo untouched by Photoshop to show that she isn’t perfect and make a case for all women to love their bodies. My co-host Howard and I argue about whether or not she actually managed to accomplish that, with me taking the stance that a naked 10 showing she doesn’t need a computer to still be a 10 probably isn’t inspiring anyone. We also get into the return of The Newsroom and whether the writing of Aaron Sorkin and Gilmore Girls creator Amy Sherman-Palladino is limited because it features several characters that sound exactly like their creators mouthing off to one another. Enjoy the episode, and please use the subscription links below to inflate our numbers so that, by the time I turn 2,000, I might have 50 iTunes reviews.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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Wayne Static did being a rock star right. Hair like Guile from Street Fighter, a porn star wife and death via a drug overdose. A salut'.

Wayne Static did being a rock star right. Hair like Guile from Street Fighter, a porn star wife and death via a drug overdose. A salut’.

Wayne Static, frontman of Static-X and singer of this truly catchy masterpiece, died over the weekend. I’m going to go out on a limb and assume it had something to do with drugs. We use the news to talk about my own issues that will probably take me a little sooner than I should (man, this episode sounds like a real knee slapper, doesn’t it?), then get into the “10 hours of harassment” video that has been making the rounds on social media, featuring a woman who gets catcalled all over New York City. It’s a good episode with a strong finish, even if getting there is a little bleak. You’re an adult. You can handle it.

Click here to listen to this episode using your browser. Click here to listen using the much nicer iTunes player (and subscribe to the show to help our ranking). And mobile users click here to listen via the Stitcher app. (You can subscribe there as well and never miss an episode.)

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Y U No Listen To My Football Show?

by John Papa on October 28, 2014

1979 Phillip Elliott Football Trading Card

I understand that I have five listeners and four of them already listen to Papa’s Football Podcast. But to the one that doesn’t (I’m looking at you, Steve), why aren’t you enjoying the funniest sports show out there dedicated to the most glorious sport ever known to man? This week we dissect the Cardinals’ ascent in the NFC, the complete implosion of Geno Smith and the Jets and the best games to grow breasts to as you vegitate on the couch during the upcoming weekend. It’s a good show. Give it a shot!

Click here to be taken to the latest episode of Papa’s Football Podcast.

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